My New Journey

Originally posted 3/7/2010


When I revealed that I am embarking on a new journey, I felt as though I was going to have these wonderful, God-inspired posts that I would share with you all (all 10 of you) of how God is transforming my life, how He has made me this bold woman that is helping others in the areas I have struggled in.

You know what? Not happening!

The one thing I have learned in the last month is that this is a process and before I can help anyone else (like I want to), God has to heal me and transform my mind. He is renewing my mind each and every day! I have read more of my Bible in the last month than I have probably for most of my life. It's like when you are reading a new book and you can't wait to get back to it to see what happens next. This is super exciting. One thing that He keeps bringing to my attention is the fact that most people, when they are born again, try to change themselves by doing what is right in God's eyes. But the thing most people don't realize is that they have to renew their minds. Those old habits, old thoughts, old ways of doing things will not change unless you are putting the Word of God inside you. Whatever you are feeding is what is going to grow. When I was in adultery, I fed on that man, how he made me feel, how wonderful he was, how he was the best man in this world, how much time I could spend with him, talk to him, lay with him. I fed my flesh. And so in doing so, I reaped what I had sown for almost 6 years. Paraphrasing what Taffi Dollar said the other day... "sin does not leave you where it found you, in fact it leaves you in a worst condition that when it found you." So true. No matter how good it looks and feels, sin only brings death.

The spirit of lust is never satisfied.

It can never be quenched.

It only gets stronger the more we feed it.

The more we feed it, the deeper into darkness and perversion we go to try to satisfy and quench what we really are looking for.... intimacy! I thought I knew what intimacy was when I was with this man. He loved me like no man ever had and gave me intimacy like I never knew existed (and intimacy is not just sexual). But the intimacy was going to a level I really didn't want to go to. He was never my husband and as much as I tried to justify that "he married the wrong woman and God brought Him into my life"... it's just not true. And all of this has nothing to do with the man himself. He's a human just like me and we chose to make these choices together, but also we make our own choices. I am taking responsibility for my own actions. And I choose to make a change.

Thank God for grace and mercy!

Now that I know the Truth, I am renewing my mind every single day. The other day I was in a rush and didn't have time for my morning devotion/reading and believe you me, all day long I felt out of sorts. It's because I have been feeding my spirit with the breath of God. And just like eating real food, I had not eaten and was hungry for bread... the Bread of Life. I cannot explain what a tremendous difference I feel and see in my life already. There's plenty more work to be done and I'm still not a Proverbs 31 woman, but my desire is to become just that! Just like Dr. Vickers told us in service this morning ... give God your life and watch Him wipe away that old canvas with built up paint, and He will start with a clean canvas and paint the picture of your life... beautiful and glorious. I messed up the first 38 years of my life. I'm gonna let God have the rest of it and paint a beautiful picture.

Now after writing all of this, I realized I went alot further than I intended. I was just going to get on here and say that when God gives me the words to say to the blog world, I will write, but until then I'm just soaking up His goodness, mercy and healing. Guess I had a lot more to say than I thought.

I am currently reading "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. I have had it for some years and I found it the other day and what better book than this one to help me where I am right now!