First Taste of Rejection

You may recall not long ago, the post Brown Apple. As a continuation to that post, Caleb got a brown apple every day that next week until his teacher called me Thursday morning at work to tell me about his issue. He was standing in the office with her while she explained that he was in the reading corner supposed to be reading, however she found him playing and drawing. She said to me "hold on and I will you let talk with him". As soon as he got on the phone, you could hear the pain in his heart and imagine the big alligator tears that were streaming down his face. He couldn't even say anything to me. So I talked to him for a brief moment, told him that I love him, and gave him some encouraging words. I keep in mind the way I approach something with the boys and how I handle a situation because the way I react can make a big impact on how they respond. Well that afternoon he had a RED APPLE! He did wonderful for a few days and then last Friday he came home with a yellow apple. Well his aunt called me when she picked him up from school, while she was still in the presence of the teacher (I guess so I could hear for myself). Caleb apparently tried to cut Ethan with his scissors. Of course all of these reasons are flying through my mind trying to figure out what may have triggered him to want to do that. I remember a few months ago, he got mad at Coby and cut him across his forearm with the scissors. When I picked the boys up and they got in the car, all I said to Caleb was "I know you got a yellow apple today, but we'll talk about it later". Immediately he started crying... those big alligator tears started flowing, and you could visibly see the hurt in his heart. I didn't push the issue that night. I waited until Saturday and the opportunity arose for me to ask him what happened. Well to make a long story short, he said "Ethan told me I wasn't his friend". Well that explains it. I can see why that may have hurt him. Caleb is a like me with his feelings and emotions and the way he is with people in general... he loves deeply, he has strong emotions... and this was his first taste of rejection. The scissors just happened to be what was in his hand at the moment... same thing that happened with Coby a few months back. So now I've got to figure out how to explain to him that rejection is part of life, it's going to come in different ways and from different people, but that doesn't give him the right to harm someone. The way you react is your choice. I dropped in on him yesterday afternoon to see how his day was and he had a red apple and I also learned that he is the top reader in his group AND he is in the top group!